Let me tell you a story.
I wasn’t always as happy and optimistic as I am now. When I was working as a waitress I worked 12-14 hour days. I worked about 60 hours a week with little to show for it. I lived with my boyfriend at the time and our relationship was failing miserably. My best friend since 7th grade was avoiding me because I was so pessimistic all the time. I had no money, I had no friends, I had a shitty job that I hated, and my relationship was failing. Despite all of the things that were going wrong I didn’t do a damn thing to fix any of it because I thought I was happy. The craziest thing was that I was so used to living in this bubble of negativity that I didn’t even realize how unhappy I actually was. I would have these really intense mood swings all the time where I would go days feeling like shit about myself and feeling angry towards other people. Especially the people who were the closest to me. I would snap at my coworkers and my friends pushing people away from me. Even with these intense feelings of anger and bitterness I really believed I was a happy person. I thought that this was just part of life and sometimes you go through ups and downs and hate everybody in the world. I had a long history of feeling unhappy, anxious, and overwhelmed on a daily basis. It wasn’t until I saw how my negativity was affecting my life that I made a conscious decision to change.
One day, (and I seriously mean just out of the blue) I had an epiphany. It was like this thought that never occurred to me just struck me. I can actually pinpoint the exact instance where I decided to change my life. It was at this point I realized the reason I was broke, the reason no one wanted to be around me, and the reason it felt like my life was crumbling was all because of me and my attitude. This epiphany brought me to the conclusion that maybe I was the one attracting all of this negativity into my life. It was like, all of a sudden, I realized that my life had always been in my control I just wasn’t letting myself have the reality I wanted. My mind was so negative my reality couldn’t possibly give me anything positive. It was like the things that I wanted I was pushing away and I couldn’t understand why until this very moment.
Maybe you’re reading this like wow this is so stupid obviously that’s why. Maybe you’re reading this like wow this is so stupid energy has nothing to do with anything, bad things just happen. If you are the latter then I bet you are someone like I used to be and right now things could be better for you. I challenge you to be an optimist for a whole week and if nothing changes then you can completely discredit me.
I always considered myself a realist. Now I don’t even think there is such a thing. We create the life we have through the decisions we make every day. There is no one way of things happening. If you think being a realist means not getting your hopes up because this is real life, then you are just a pessimist telling yourself that you are being a rational person.
I took everything at face value and never thought about the cause and effect of things. I never realized that it’s the everyday decisions we make, the small ones, matter the most. On a daily basis I chose to think about the “rational” outcomes, the ones that didn’t work in my favor like this table is probably only going to leave me a 10% tip I just know it, or I’m sure me and my boyfriend will get into a fight about something when I get home. I believe these things so strongly that I pretty much made them inevitable. If this sounds like you I suggest you rethink this life tactic. Here’s the thing, you don’t know what is going to happen so don’t focus on the worst that can happen. Good things will not come to you if you never expect them to.
Aristotle has this really great quote, “The energy of the mind is the essence of life”. Thoughts have momentum thoughts are energy, negativity is energy, but so is positivity. Put out the energy you want to get back.
Another way to look at it is, you probably believe in Karma right? Well, every day think about the energy you give off the same way you think about Karma. If you think about the worst scenario that’s what you’ll eventually get, but if you think about the best possible outcome, eventually that is what will come back to you. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but eventually everything comes back.
It took me a long time to get into a positive frame of mind. I had to reset my brain to stop fixating on all of the things that made me unhappy. I still catch myself sometimes and have to redirect my thoughts where I want them to go.I do these 3 simple every day.
To stay my most positive, optimistic self I do these 3 simple things every day.
I Wake up and say Thank you
Every day, especially on the days when it’s hard to get out of bed, the first thing I do when I wake up is to try to focus on the things I am thankful for, the things that are working in my life. Denzel Washington has an amazing speech that he gave at a college graduation ceremony. The most memorable part of his speech is when he tells his audience, “When you wake up in the morning say thank you. Say thank you in advance for what’s already yours.” Being grateful for having things before you have them is where manifesting what you want starts. It also boosts your energy when you start your day full of gratitude rather than focusing on the grueling challenges that you will inevitably face. (In my head I say thank you in Denzel’s voice)
Find your meditation
I say find your meditation because I believe meditation is a different experience for everyone. The other thing I do when I wake up every morning, and this has become part of my daily ritual when I drive to work, I meditate. I always thought you had to meditate with soft spa music and clear your mind so that you can find some sort of clarity. I realized that meditation is about finding clarity but we all find clarity in different ways. I find mine by listening to podcasts and youtube videos that inspire me. All I focus on for the hour ride to work is the messages I am hearing and how I can apply them to my own goals and incorporate them into my life.
The last thing I do before I get out of my car and step into my work day is I imagine myself reaching my goals. I visualize what it looks like, what it feels like, the ways my life will be better and feel fulfilled. Then I simply tell myself that it’s going to be a good day. I truly believe that visualization is a key to being successful at anything.
We all have our moments when we feel down and want to give up, but if we turn those feelings into motivation rather than discouragement, that’s when our lives begin to change.
If you want to know what motivational videos I listen to, drop a comment or email me!