What I mean is, you’re not a sailboat without sails, blowing aimlessly around in the wind….so choose a direction! I don’t know that much about sailing (clearly). I do however, (like to think) that I know a little something about choosing a direction.
I like to plan, I really like to navigate the waters of my life and see the places my ship will take me if I steer it in the right direction (okay, I’m done with the boat analogies). Seriously though, I spend a lot of time thinking about the way I want to design my life to look.
Most of us only plan as far as what we want to do this weekend, but it’s time to start planning the life you want in the long run.
If you want to start planning further ahead, start with this; Envision the home you want to live in, the amount of money you want in the bank, the vacations you want to take, the career you want, the events you want to attend, and the goals you want to achieve.
I’m not telling you to make up some frilly wishes of things, “Wouldn’t it be great to win a million dollars,” (duh) but imagine realistic goals, things that you really want to achieve. Think about the steps you would need to take. Consider how you would work your way towards being the person you want to become.
Now I know that this isn’t an exact strategy or science, life can take some crazy unexpected turns. BUT having a plan or a goal to keep you grounded when shit hits the fan in inevitably the best way to not let thee crazy things that happen in life unravel you completely.
We think of our 20’s as the freebie years and don’t take ourselves seriously until we’re totally off-track from where we thought we’d be. We spend all this time drifting around in our 20’s and then start scrambling at 30 to begin taking life seriously.
I mean really think about it, maybe you’re toying with different ideas of what you might want, but you never take action. You’re happy in your waitressing job, your considering getting your degree but maybe when you have a little more money, kids aren’t even on your mind, and if finding a good guy means scrolling through Tinder then you would just rather be single. Let’s chalk this stuff up to “list of things I’ll do in my thirties.”
But here’s the thing, time sneaks up on you quick.
Do you really want to be the kind of thirty-year old that is struggling to get their degree, work full-time, meet a good guy, and watch the baby clock? If you thought of these things sooner, if you planned better, if you just picked a direction, wouldn’t life be a little bit easier?
I’m not saying you can’t do these things when your thirty. Of course, you can! But dang that’s a lot of pressure to put on future you!
I mean seriously, so much of our suffering later in life comes from poor planning early on. It comes from not knowing what we want, what we need, or who we even are! I mean, how much time are you spending focusing on you, on your future?
Like what are your standards? What is it that you need to do, or accomplish to be happy? What makes you feel fulfilled? How do you take responsibility for who you are right now?
The first step in any lifestyle design or goal setting road map is deciding who you want to be, and then taking the time to figure that person out. Knowing yourself on the very deepest level. The likes, the dislikes, boundaries, qualms, then settling for nothing less than the standards you’ve set.
If you can’t answer these questions about where you’re going or what you want, are you really even in control of your life? If you spend every day miserable at your job or in your relationship, are you really designing your best life?
The same should go for your goals. If you aren’t working towards them or you have none, what are you living towards? What are you looking forward to?
C’mon, you definitely weren’t put here to be some mediocre version of yourself. So be critical of the past, present, and future. Let it guide the way as proof or what you want, don’t want, and what you need. Ask yourself, who am I becoming and does that align with who I want to be?
Don’t be a sailboat with no sail. Choose your path and starting working towards that vision.