Part of living a healthy life is having healthy relationships with yourself and with other people. If your feeling like everyone is always against you, that people are purposely trying to make you mad or upset and you find yourself saying things like, “why do these things always happen to me? Why are other people always being so negative?” If you feel yourself constantly wanting to correct other peoples behavior, it is time to make some mindset shifts.
The way you feel about other people doesn’t affect them and it isn’t their problem to worry about how they make you feel. When you are critical of those around you and you feel like you are being treated unfairly it is important to realize that you are the one with a problem, you are the one being negative, and YOU are the one that needs to make an adjustment.
I say this from a place of personal understanding. I know what it’s like to feel like nothing ever goes your way and the universe is out to get you.
The year I graduated college I went through a period where all I did was bitch and complain. I felt like life wasn’t treating me right and I just had bad luck. At the time I was a waitress and complaining about everything under the sun. My coworkers got better tips than me, they had the better sections, and they got lucky with more generous guests. I would think “they’re no different than me. How do they always get the super nice tables and I get stuck with cheap people that barely leave me 20%?”. It made me angry and jealous.
At the time I lived with my roommate (my best friend of 12 years). We lived together and we worked together. For all our years of friendship we never really got into fights but for some reason, I felt like all of a sudden we were fighting all the time. We couldn’t have a conversation without it turning into an argument.
On top of all that I felt like my relationship was falling apart. My boyfriend (who I lived with) was always starting arguments with me too. He would nag me and do things to upset me.
I was frustrated with all of it. My job, my relationship, my friends, everything. It was time to make some mindset shifts.
Another article you might like: 7 Ways to Cleanse Your Negative Energy
Then, one day, out of nowhere, it hit me; I was blaming everyone and everything else for my problems. I wasn’t taking responsibility for any of the things that were going wrong in my life. Then I had this crazy thought, “what if all my negativity is attracting more negativity into my life and that’s why nothing ever seems to go right.” I had this eureka moment that made my jaw drop. I was the cause of all my own problems, I could change them if I just started acting a little more positively about everything (ding, light bulb moment).
I was miserable and didn’t even know it because I was too busy blaming everyone else. Then and there, I decided I was going to do whatever it took to be happy.
That was when I really started to change the way I lived my life and I still continue to make positive changes.
If you feel like you could use some mindset shifts to improve your life these are the big ones that helped me
I stopped feeling like the victim
Playing the poor me card, always talking about how bad your luck, life, or situation is doesn’t improve anything and only makes you more negative.
I started taking responsibility
Take responsibility for your actions and stop blaming other people for your unhappiness
I stopped telling other people what was right and wrong for them
This was a big one for me. I was doing everything wrong and was totally unsatisfied and miserable yet I felt like I could tell other people what was best for them. Stick with this one rule: only give advice when specifically asked for your opinion
I started to read more books on self-improvement
The more I started to learn about self-improvement, and success the happier I started to feel. I put the skills that I learned to work in my life and gradually started to see the difference that small changes can make.
I vowed to think positively as often as possible
This truly takes practice. You can’t just wake up one day and become an optimist just like you can’t wake up one day and become a gymnast it takes mental practice and a special kind of dedication to yourself.
I started visualizing the way I wanted my life to look
The crazy thing I realized was that there is no such thing as being a realist. You are either an optimist or a pessimist because the future isn’t real you create it. So you are either creating a future that you think is “realistic” which usually downplays the unlimited possibilities, or you can visualize a future full of potential and what you actually want. The choice is yours
I started setting personal goals for myself
Goal setting will change your life. When you give yourself something to focus on and strive towards it gives your life more meaning and gives you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
I started thinking about and listing all the things I was grateful for
Before, the only time I thought about what I was grateful for was on Thanksgiving and even then it felt ingenuine. Now I think about the things I am grateful for regularly. It is hard to be unhappy when your mind is focused on all the things that make your life worth living.
Another article you might like: Wake Up and Have a Mindset of Gratitude
I decided that it was important to help other people
I never felt like I would be the person who would care enough to change other peoples lives for the better. Only, something strange happened when I started caring about my life more I also started caring about other peoples happiness too. I thought wow I could make a difference and help people see the way to living a better life.
I started listening to my emotions and intuition
This takes some practice, but when I started to pay attention to my emotions and my energy my intuition became stronger. I now know when I am getting sucked into the negativity loop and I can pull myself away from it.
Don’t be like the rest of the world that just floats through life hoping good things will happen and then complaining when they don’t. Make mindset shifts; set goals, be grateful, listen to your intuition, complain less, learn something new and try to improve eveyday. The only person that is going to care about your personal growth as a human is you.